When the MUSIC meets the LYRICS

*singing Francesca Battistelli’s “The Breakup Song” Was it early this morning when I woke up? Or was it when I was about to sleep last night? Between those times. I realized how “fear” has been in my heart all this time. Especially when it comes to relationship.  I always daydream about being “in-love”, being pursued, getting married… but somewhere along the daydream, I stop myself or just allow myself up to a certain level of “kilig”. It dawned to me that I fear getting a repeat of my previous relationships — all failed. So even in my imaginations, I don’t allow myself to be “too involved” in case I get hurt.  I fear being rejected so much… I doubted the possibility of God’s best loving me “till death” knowing all my flaws and imperfections, making my previous failed relationships as reference to this.  Then a thought just came now… How could I experience God’s best if the previous relationships didn’t end? How can I make them as “the” reference when Chri...

The LORD has allowed me to enjoy an overflowing amount of comfort, joy and even luxury. But by His faithfulness and grace, He is also polishing and refining my heart from pride and attachment to money, fame and self-righteousness. Truly, I AM NOTHING WITHOUT CHRIST. (John 15:5 - "... apart from Me you can do nothing.") I used to say those words feeling and thinking I know what it means. But upon close checking my own heart and self -- I realized how selfish and prideful I am. How corrupt my own heart is. How deceitful. How I blame, how I envy and how I'm embittered with certain things and circumstances. I felt ashamed. My initial reaction was to deny. I want to justify myself. Then I realized that I prayed for the Holy Spirit to reveal these things to me, and I'm just experiencing another answered prayer. All the more I realized how unworthy I am. It's so hard to face this. But I praise God for His faithfulness. That despite the shame, I feel His loving c...

I was praying for productivity so much these days, that I was consumed with the thought of it and getting frustrated with the thought that I'm not getting the output that I desired. When out of my intentional search, I stumbled into this article: http://www.livingfreeindeed.com/2017/06/27/what-the-proverbs-31-woman-teaches-us-about-productivity/ I was shookt.  Proverbs 31:10-31 has always been a favorite go to verse. I've meditated on it, discussed it with friends and has been so inspired so much by it. When all of a sudden, this article made me re-read it with a totally different perspective. Realization. The Proverbs 31 woman is not Godly because she is productive, but she is productive because she is GODLY. And I had it all wrong. I praise God for this article. I just realized how self-absorbed I was. How blinded I was. How wrong I could possible be. I praise the Lord for the reminder.  All this time. My goals, my intentions, my “productivit...

REAL January 31, 2018; 12:14am 305 PDS, Mandaue City "I’m in love with the thought of you.  And the fact that you and me, can’t be  — is the safest idea of falling in love the world could ever know.  It’s overboard romantic, it reached a comical note.  I share laughs with my close friends and my mother about it.  And oh! Please don’t be surprised  — you’re in our conversations a lot, too. "They indulge my fantasies, as I casually call out your name like we’re… Close. (laughs) I show ‘our' pictures together.   Gosh! I praise God for the dear friend who casually stole a few shots of you and me. And the other friend for taking 'our' picture in one of the sites we went to.  Those have been awesome PROPS to the entire play.  They just made it all a little bit real.  "Real.  Yes, my affection for you is.  *No expectations. Just a wholesome inspiration brought about by — your mere existen...

"I was sitting across you. You were laughing at the things that’s stumbling out of my mouth. Can you believe it? This girl across you was the same baby you pushed out from your womb 32 years ago. I myself find the idea surreal. It’s like mirroring that moment of you looking at me. And somehow, I got a glimpse of the love only you could give. I couldn’t fully imagine it. I just know it’s more than real.” - Musings on Mommy; January 29, 2018; 11:48pm