Totally NOTHING

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The LORD has allowed me to enjoy an overflowing amount of comfort, joy and even luxury. But by His faithfulness and grace, He is also polishing and refining my heart from pride and attachment to money, fame and self-righteousness.

Truly, I AM NOTHING WITHOUT CHRIST.
(John 15:5 - "... apart from Me you can do nothing.")

I used to say those words feeling and thinking I know what it means. But upon close checking my own heart and self -- I realized how selfish and prideful I am. How corrupt my own heart is. How deceitful. How I blame, how I envy and how I'm embittered with certain things and circumstances. I felt ashamed.

My initial reaction was to deny. I want to justify myself.

Then I realized that I prayed for the Holy Spirit to reveal these things to me, and I'm just experiencing another answered prayer. All the more I realized how unworthy I am. It's so hard to face this. But I praise God for His faithfulness. That despite the shame, I feel His loving comfort enveloping me.

"Thank you, LORD -- for searching my heart. Thank you for bringing this to my awareness, so I can offer and lift it up to you.

 I don't own anything.

 Please forgive me, LORD -- for not being a good steward to the business, the people, my body that you have given me. LORD, I'm honestly lost and unworthy of anything. I don't know how and what to do. Please help me. Thank you for the forgiveness.

 Please teach me your ways. Please teach me to be a good steward of the family you've entrusted, the business you've given, the physical body you've gifted, and the people you've surrounded me with. I don't know how, LORD. Only You, Father; only You, Jesus; only You, Holy Spirit can help and guide me. All these I pray, in Jesus' name. Amen."

 I hold unto His promise in Matthew 11:29, that says "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, you will find rest for your souls."

Thank you, LORD. Apart from You, I can do NOTHING.

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